Monday, February 23, 2004 | Monday, February 23, 2004

Argh argh argh argh. I just sprouted a fresh set of pimples. Sigh. Really it's getting out of hand, this pimple situation. Vanity causes a person's downfall; that's a lesson hard learnt. It all started with the makeup. No more makeup. Now i know, now i know. It can't be due to stress..i know me..i know i haven't started working that hard yet. Probably all the late nights doing goodness knows what, and the waking up at 5 to do last-minute studying. Look around and you can see that i'm easily one of the slackest people around BUT with my complexion reflecting otherwise. My group's script for the workshop's finally done too, yay! And this wednesday's our last workshop, double yay! Frankly speaking, 3 hours of workshop after 2 hours of gp is no joke. It's all gonna end!! Today for chinese double period, we watched this chinese movie with tony leung in it, and this cute little boy. Ah! He's the kind of son i want next time..so cute. :) And cuz the movie still hadn't finished by the end of lesson, some of us stayed on and delayed and delayed going for gp. So now we all hafta go for gp remedial on thursday for punishment. Sheesh. My mood wasn't dampened though, cuz after school ended, i went jogging! I need toning; i need toning on my legs and stomach. Seriously, my stomach cannot make it. Come to think of it, my entire body cannot make it. Lousy me jogged only til expo while dory pushed on and ran 1 1/2 rounds more. Sighh. Anyway gotta make this lazy body work somehow soon! Gosh i'm so tired.

Saturday, February 21, 2004 | Saturday, February 21, 2004

There are so many things to do but i'm just pushing them all aside. Not good not good. I lost my econs tys. Or someone must've taken it, by accident or by purpose i don't know. That bloody book was in class. Whatever the past year's work was...it's all now gone. And i can't blame anyone but myself for leaving that stupid book out there in the open. Irritating. This past week went by in a blur, mainly cuz i've only been getting 5 hours of sleep daily. Hence the seh-ness now. The only distinct memory i have now is of thursday. That night, me, rae, stef, georgie and merlyn met in church for skit rehearsal. In order to get us into the mood for inserting emoemo emotions, they made us fight. Verbal fights, physical fights..you name it. And although i sincerely believed i was a pure phlegmatic, that night convinced me otherwise. I am easily provoked, heard that? *menacing look. Haha. The last time i fought was in primary 6, gosh. And i probably told about everyone i met about this already, but the fights i had on thursday night really cleared up all the anger and stress i've had these past few months. Bottling up your anger's good; too much bottling though, and it gets choked up and (forgive the word) constipated. Went school friday morning smiling broadly and feeling jubilant from all the sudden absence of pent-up emotions. I should do fights on a weekly, if not monthly, basis! :) Anyway, nothing else worthy of discussion happened. I'm increasingly getting into stressed mode already. Only 1o more months of misery!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004 | Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Whew. Finally a day where i can breathe easier. Didn't go school today, first time this year ok. My immune system's finally down..all thanks to school. And i hate the way my nose starts leaking everytime i attempt to study or do some work. And it stops dripping when i stop doing work. Ah, one just has to face the fact that there's always ASS (allergy-to-studies syndrome) to contend with. Oh and my valentine's day didn't go too bad. :) At least one half of my optimism was fulfilled. Went pasir ris park late, and it ended right on the dot at 1o, thank goodness. Went changi village after that for breakfast, and in the afternoon, dragged myself from bed to go church for worship practice. Rushed down to elements after that; me, stef and joel had a free car ride there! :) And they weren't kidding when they said it'd be cold. It was freezing! Had to put on two jackets for awhile to warm up. And no matter how someone was disappointed with it, i thought it was good! As in really...but again, i'm judging it based on my extremely poor music sense, hehe. Seriously speaking, it was good, wonderful, fantastique larh ok? The songs meant to be cheesy weren't cheesy at all. Oh, but i so want to strangle my dearest friend joel. Guess what he was doing half the time at elements? Making time with my dearest primary school mate over the phone downstairs. Bleargh. When he could've spent time with meee! But the day ended on a high note though; after one week of misery, i was happy. And on sunday..it was super hot and lethargy-inducing. Went for reauditions for seeker service, and i got the part of the useless bum friend, the one who abandons her best friend. Time to get into character! Kidding nic, kidding. I pray that God will use every single one of us as His instruments to reach out to the people who'll be coming for the service on 21st March. And that He will help us in wanting to do our best for Him to glorify His name and not ours. I'm a little worried too, especially about the emotions part and memorising of lines. But i guess what matters is the effort you put into it. After that, it was econs tuition at dunman high alumni. It was so so hot, i was falling asleep initially during the first half hour. Sigh. It was so noisy too, what with all the irritating kids in the other rooms screaming and laughing away. Kids. I really felt i was in a nursery school; i was like dying inside. Went holland village for dinner after that, and it felt so nice sitting there eating fish and chips with the er..fish. Hahaha. So that was my weekend. And i'm so glad to have skipped pe today; heard it was horrible horrible horrible. Three rounds around the track and then three rounds doing station exercises right? I feel so well-rested now. Time to go do sigh more work!

Friday, February 13, 2004 | Friday, February 13, 2004

It's friday the thirteenth. And gawd i stink. Just came back from school. Today was..gratifying. :) Inspite of the fact that i still think giving roses on Veeday is stupid and a big waste of money, conformity allowed my heart to melt when i received two today. One's anonymous though; not nice blowing your brains out trying to figure out the sender. Anyway, my class rocks! Surprisingly, especially for the guys..they were so sweet buying all the girls chocolates and even roses for the chosen few. Hahaha. Arts guys are still better than science guys larh. Received lots of sweets and chocolates and notes from girlfriends too. Sweet sweet. And i feel potential pimples sprouting out again for eating too much. Bleah. Sigh got road run tomorrow..and i should stop griping about the fact that i hafta wake up at 5 plus just so that i'll reach pasir ris park by 7. And take a long loooong walk all the way to the finishing line to hand out the number cards when the dearest J1s pass through. I should bring something to read while waiting. Sigh. Oh and getting back to the topic, it's friday the thirteenth and i'll spend the night alone. Not by choice, but since the friends i want to spend time with sigh can't spend it with me, i'll make use of it to spend time with God and some me time too. Ah i sound garbled here. What the heck. I feel lonely.

Thursday, February 12, 2004 | Thursday, February 12, 2004

Nothing brightens up a girl's mood like a really really good bargain; something she likes, and something that's so cheap! There's this artsa-fair just beside tm that's selling all those arty-farty stuff, and they're really good. And i found this pair of handmade earrings that's all silver and blue for only four bucks! Ahh..fully satisfied with my find. I'm in love with them. It's motivated me to take up earring-craft workshops..somewhere in the distant distant future. One day i'll set up my own makeshift store with all my handmade earrings displayed there for sale! And people will all be crowding round to snap them up! Haha, dreams. Anyway, i'm so relieved almost all the stress factors are gone. Monday to wednesday were so horrible, but they've passed, they've passed. :) Still got that one big blah script to think up by tonight though, sigh. If only i could just shove it off. Feeling quite sleepy now, woke up at 5 this morning to do a lit essay that's due today. Thank goodness i managed to finish it before leaving for school. Pure fear motivates you to wake up on the dot at the ungodly hour of 5. Blah. Hmm so basically what i've left now is to flesh out (add the lungs, heart, skin, hair) the script and i'm done. Yay. Oh, and complete my *coughcough* for sat. And i hope a certain fish likes it, cuz i started working on it days ago. On Friendship Day (note the refusal to include in the Vee word), i hope to see TWO people whom i'm very very certain know who they are..right? eunice, stay optimistic. :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 | Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Something's wrong with my mind. Woke up this morning with a big smile on my face, then it quickly faded when i realised it was all just a dream. I've moved on with my life, why am i dreaming again? Felt so troubled. I certainly have not been thinking about the issue/person for a long long time. Nevertheless, it left me feeling very disturbed the whole morning. I hope and i pray those dreams won't come back and bother me again. I hate dreams. The day passed by relatively ok, the only time i really fell asleep was in gp again. I don't know what's wrong with me..i can't stomach the thought of gp. Today's lesson was on the different levels of thinking; mine's permanently stuck at the second one. Sigh. Can't i just grow up and mature in my thinking?! Gp is infuriating. And coming back to the college's road race on sigh Vday, i just found out today that all student officials hafta be at pasir ris park at 7am sat morning. Big sigh. Talk about sadomasochism. One good thing is that the whole thing will end by 10. Oh, and since this week's friendship week, speakers in the canteen were blaring with song dedications from friends/classmates/loveydoveys during lunchtime. Generally, it's quite cool to have this thing going on, but sometimes, when you just want some peace and quiet, especially when you're feeling blue over some issue even remotely related to Vday and trying so hard to stay upbeat, you just wanna cover your ears and scream shut up! when there're love songs constantly blaring into your ears while you're eating. Me and mitch were like aurghhh. Yup then went home after school ended and took a nap w/o changing out of my stinking pe attire; i was that tired. When i woke up, i seriously thought it was already the next morning! And i have been thinking about you too. The same questions running through my mind. Whether this really is it, or simply just this sudden missing space. I find myself looking at my phone and i'd hafta control that itch in wanting to press those little buttons. Only time will tell. Ah. Have lots and lots of work to do now. Back to overworking that little brain. *Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame to part; Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start. --coldplay.

Monday, February 09, 2004 | Monday, February 09, 2004

I know i'm not the only one having a hard time now, but it's getting to be so unbearable. It's just getting worse and worse each day and i can't help but feel like quitting school. It's february already. I know i'm not smart. I know i don't work hard. I know i should work hard. School today was so bad i just don't know where to start. In fact it's so bad i don't think i even want to start thinking about it. Is this how school is going to be like from now on? It gets so frustrating. Especially when you can't contribute anything useful and feel so useless. Spoiling your lenses with proteins and wasting tissue isn't good too eunicegirl. Countdown to end of A levels: 10 months. Give me one good reason to smile. Give me one good reason to laugh. Give me one good reason to not run away from everything and keep running and running and running. My one good reason flew out yesterday. Yesterday was bitter and sweet, sweet and bitter; bittersweet. If only time could just be turned back and held there..for a moment. But you're right, money can't buy time. If only it could.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004 | Wednesday, February 04, 2004

I cut my hair yesterday. And i look like a little boy! At least..i feel like one. Sigh, hair grows hair grows. At least i satisfied this urge finally! of cutting my hair. May i no longer whine about it, amen. I'm so glad the weekend's fast approaching. Monday more than made up for what i'm going through now though, had lots of fun spending it with dory. :) And i changed my mind about that 8 storey high bungee ride; 30 bucks for barely a minute's worth of thrill is NOT worth it. Bought this book yesterday too, and although what it says now is hard enough to swallow and every sentence is like this hammer going whamwham down on my head, i'm slowly trying to digest it. My precious book. Love it and hate it. And don't you just hate having a conscience?! It's good for you..and yet sometimes you just feel like quelching that irritating little voice at the back of your head. Mine somehow got loose and now it's screaming away for all it's worth. thatbook+thisvoice=evenmoreconscience. It's for your own good. Bah.. School today was so so so sian; gp was the ultimate. Seriously gp has become unbearable this year. And after school..i was supposed to have this script writing workshop from 3 to 6. I went there not in the best of moods and with aching red eyes. But guess what! The guy there was the same person from The Necessary Stage who came to my secondary school four years back when i was in sec 2 to hold a similar workshop! Wow, s'pore's really too small already. And he still remembers me! And after four years too..not bad. Waitaminit. Four years sounds like a long long time ago. Sigh i'm growing old. Ah it wasn't as torturing as i thought it'd be, but yup, still gotta take a deep breath for the upcoming month. Sigh free time there you go.

Sunday, February 01, 2004 | Sunday, February 01, 2004

Today was one of those rare sundays i came home super early. Somehow attending two services in a day is fulfilling, yet tiring. Yawn. One day i'll have to choose either. Actually now i'm in a relaxed mood, quite hard to feel relaxed these days, sigh. And i've just finished organising all my notes this past month into all the thick fat box files. Argh! I need at least two more files to fit them all. The current ones are all stuffed till breaking point. Not healthy for my precious notes to get so squashed you know. And i've got geog and lit notes from ezra and gerald. Yay! I seriously need all the help i can get. Gonna studystudy later till late at night tonight; time to get into study mode. And to make up for tomorrow, hehe. Can't wait dory! And i've just taken a look at the school calendar; block tests are in march after hols, and mid years in late june/july after hols. Sigh. What a pity life can't be all beds of roses. Hmm what else left to say? Friday went by pretty quick; met stef and georgie for our mentor-mentee dinner, and stef treated us mentees to nydc! My first and hopefully-not-last time eating there..the food's damn nice! I grew even more bulgy after that. And the chingay preview was going on, so all the roads were closed and all the pedestrains couldn't even cross them. Bleah. And i haven't had a chance to spend barney's heerens voucher yet..oh no! Expiry date approaching fast.. After that i met dory, and we saw that 8-storey bungee-like ride thing near esplanade and it looked so fun! If i had thirty bucks to spare...sigh. And on saturday, me and pris decided to do flag day only at 1050 in the morning..and we were supposed to report in sch at 1130. The joys of living so near school. :) Collected a pretty decent amount of coins until my cheeks hurt from smiling and then went back to school to give back the tin. And after that, it was a long long ride on 15 back to church; i kept banging my head on the window, and i really mean banging. So embarrassing. The XS youths were supposed to have a cooking competition, and i'm glad to say that i didn't have anything to do with the cooking at MY cell's cookout. Whew. I can't cook for nuts. Made up for it by washing the dishes. Pretty ok weekend for once, but only this ONCE. Sigh, what with going to school early in the morning at 8 every saturday from now on, and sunday afternoons all gone for the sake of tuition, i won't have much of a weekend and i won't have much of a life. So i better treasure tomorrow. It won't rain it won't rain it won't rain.